After taking a night to myself in Geneva at the new Ruby Claire hotel, I returned to a charge on my credit card called just “Claire.” Had I booked a lady of the night and forgotten? She’s not really my type, but this could make for a strange expense report exchange with your employer. This card charge falls into the top locations to expense, right behind a bar in Baltimore named “The Horse You Came In On” which charmingly shows up on the card as “The Horse You Came In.” Have fun explaining that to your boss. Just plain “Claire” also could raise a brow or two.

I must be teetering on the precipice of the age demographic of this “cool” hotel, because Claire was all eclectic furnishings, white washed rooms, and an odd smattering of neon lights. You’re meant to self-check-in which is fine, but the system seemed to work for about no one. There were not early check-ins and even at check-in rooms were not ready. It was a bit of a mob scene. Luckily, I was given a key to my room at check-in (after the self-check-in issue) and proceeded to open the door…to an occupied room. That was a first. I lugged my stuff back up reception and asked for a room with less people in it. The guy at the desk gave me a new key (and small upgrade) and I confirmed the room was vacant. He shrugged and said he hoped so. Luckily, he was cute.

Say it in neon.

The luggage of rooms past.

The lobby looked like any hotel trying to appeal to a certain demographic that likes a mish mash of prescription cool.

Like it came from a yard sale, but did not.

Two terraces flank the seventh floor reception and lounge. It’s a great idea, but being that the building is situated in the interior of a larger commercial development, the bars overlook absolutely nothing. I tried both and did manage a glimpse into an office kitchen across the courtyard.

The cocktails were creative, but not great. Rookie mistake on my part ordering anything in Switzerland that isn’t terribly simple. This chili-infused drink still managed to be sweet.

For whatever reason, from the eclectic lobby, the room was entirely white. These haphazard textures of different white materials felt more insanity than calming. The wide-planked white farm floor was an odd choice with a glass loo and already looked worn from luggage rolling over it.

Most concerning was that the sink and mirror are outside of the bathroom. So, when you see the WHITE BUCKET, you think, “Oh God, this room doesn’t have a proper toilet.” I’ve never considered a bucket as a toilet, yet this was the immediate thought that came to mind.

Luckily they stuck a real toilet in a glass cube and found a very flimsy shower curtain to set the whole thing off. Not a bad shower, but who wants a shower curtain touching them, especially at a hotel? No one. I’m sure guests must be forgoing that detail and soaking the floors of their glass cube as I was.

The bed came with a red ribbon draped across the bottom. Why, I’ll never know.

A Marshall speaker, required of all “cool” hotels, was also precariously hidden in a location where you are likely not to use it. No pre-programmed music played.

A teensy tiny desk encourages that you work in the lobby. This was a bit of a surprise as the hotel was full of business travelers when I stayed on a normal Thursday.

The view from the upgraded room.

I really wanted to love Ruby Claire and make her my little pied-a-terre for crashing in Geneva. She’s the price of a taxi, so I guess I shouldn’t expect too much, but I’m not sure I’ll go back and see Claire or not. She has a lot of picking up to do. Good thing there’s a bucket.