The elusive Mr. Fogg’s Residence (and Secret Garden) has been on my radar for some time, but I didn’t make it until my recent reunion with London. After a long stroll from Chinatown, it was decided that the halfway point could perfectly be Mr. Fogg’s in Mayfair.

There was a person at the door dressed in a gathered parachute dress. A bit strange, but whatever. She looked us up and down and decided to get back up to give us a look up and down. It went in slow motion and was incredibly awkward. I had on a black dress, cute sandals while my friend wore nice looking shorts and a fancy boy tee shirt. It was 85 degrees and we’d come from dim sum, we weren’t lighting up the town. Well, as my friend freaked out they wouldn’t let us in, that’s probably when we should have just done an about face and gone home.

Mr. Fogg’s was quite a site to see with all sorts of historically themed menu items and kitschy decor. There was a fancy dress party happening when we arrived, and oddly cladded waitstaff. Later, a group of rowdy business men occupied the staff and caused us to wait 30 minutes for a drink. They served one to me and waited 30 minutes to bring my friends. I hadn’t seen him in a year and a half and if I wanted to drink alone, I’d have stayed at home. The best part was that the waitress was annoyed with us for having a 16 GBP drink and inquiring when we might be able to toast.

The drinks were creative and cute, but the vibe of the whole staff was a total turnoff. I’m glad I had the chance to experience this and not alone so that someone could back me up in my thoughts, but absolutely I would not return.

Icing on the cake was signing the bill. I asked the waitress if service was included then saw that it was and said oh 10 GBP is included (massively steep) for service. She said yes, but this wasn’t the same as a tip. When I didn’t tip further for the poor service we received, she was clearly annoyed with me. I am sad that this was the place I chose for what was meant to be a fun friend reunion. Save your funds and go literally anywhere else in London for a drink.