For mother’s day, I treated mum (and dad) to high tea at a spot of their choice. A friend recommended Fortnum & Mason’s Diamond Jubilee salon so I nudged mum in that direction and she agreed. Like a kid in a candy store, or a lady in a pastry shop, she was giddy as all get out with how cute everything was – turquoise and peach dining room dreams, oh my! Daytime pearls, say whattttt. (Not for me, of course. Ew).

The lady-like accents continued with individual tea pots. That’s right, I drank loose-leaf tea and it was wonderful. 

We had our choice of traditional or savory snacks, so naturally we had to try both.

The sweets included a top tier of just OK pastries that we all shared and tried – nothing remarkable there. Tier two were the scones. OH MY. They were so good! Served with clotted cream, raspberry jam, and lemon curd that was so good, mum ate it with a spoon and then spread it all over her dessert. (Yes, there was another dessert course). The bottom tier featured an array of finger sandwiches, the standout being the cucumber and chive cream cheese.

The savory tower, looked like sweets, but weren’t. Here you’re seeing foie gras and rhubarb on the left, then a green cashew cheesecake, a macaron made of salmon and wasabi, and an egg full of crab and caviar. These scones were also insanely good. One was cheese and chives and another was bacon-y. Each came with some delicious buttery spread. And at the end, the same finger sandwiches as camera one. 

Where’s a camera? To the left? Ok. 

The sneaky salmon macaron up close. 

After you ripped through your food towers, that could be replenished as many times as you wanted, there was a dessert trolley with maybe six very pretty cakes to choose from. I selected the batttenberg cake as I’d wanted to give it a go after seeing Mary Berry demand it from some reality tv chefs. It was…disappointing. Dry, too little filling, and way too much marzipan. It did look nice though. Mum selected a cheesecake (not pictured) so that she could use it as a vessel for lemon curd. Hilarious.

We sipped and nibbled for 2.5 hours – a long time – but the relaxed service and array of snacks demanded it. For 49 GBP per person, you pretty much had to. With champagne, I could totally see this being an all afternoon affair. I’d love to come back at Christmas and do this again!