Last week I embarked on a tour de Mid-West, visiting family in Fort Wayne, aka Li’l Wayne, aka Fort Wheezy, aka Fort Wheezy F. Baby, followed by a weekend in Columbus for the wedding of one of my nearest and dearest. Not having been back to either spot in nearly two years, I’d forgotten how much I’d missed that part of the country and how much it’s grown – cities and niece/nephew alike. While my nephew, Walter (4), is already a pro at guest blogging, he wanted to include his little sis, Alice (2), in on a quick recap of our adventures together. So, without further ado.

Walter:  Aunt Lauren came to play with Alice and me for a few days. I had so much to show her! Especially my trash and recycling cans SO many times! I even demanded garbage from her so she could watch  me throw it away!

Alice: Yeah! But, don’t forget first we showed her our rooms and swing set and had a picnic in the yard where we ate Dragon Tacos and Pasta with red sauce. Every kid’s favorite. Mmmmm.

Walter: Mom and Aunt Lauren drank a lot of “lady petrol” while we played outside. I even had to ask them to move their wine glasses out of my office because I was flying my space craft to the moon via layover in Texas.

Alice: Yeah!

Walter:  I picked Aunt Lauren several dandelions during her stay – had to show the gooberish dudes back home how to treat a lady.

Alice:  Me too! I gave her a flower too! (Not pictured here). Dang, Aunt Lauren, when are you going to take a page from my book and get a real mani/pedi? Yours is looking busted.

Walter:  I needed some energy so I went to sleep. The grown-ups had gintots and kid monitors, just like old times. Times as old as that lime!

Alice:  I look adorable singing and launching my animals on that monitor, even in creepy night vision.

Walter:  Mom, Dad, and Aunt Lauren really like this weird show called Arrested Development. My humor is above that, so I let them watch it without me. If we are keeping in character though, I think I must be George Michael.

Alice:  Hand chair!

Walter:  Aunt Lauren was SO surprised that I had a hand chair in my Lego room. She and dad did a play about losing hands to Mexico. 

Alice:  So weird. 

Walter:  The next day we went to the zoo and showed Aunt Lauren our favorite haunts.

Alice:  I can run so fast around that zoo. They never catch me. I did stop to take some shade in this egg chair.

Walter:  Eeeeeohhhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Alice:  Eeohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Alice:  Oh yeah, my whip is fierce. First class car all the way on Li’l Wayne’s tour train.

Walter:  We fed some giraffes lettuce. This is the Grandma. Aunt Lauren had never even fed a giraffe before! What kind of rock does she live under?

Alice:  She was so freaked out, but not me! I do this on the regular. Aunt Lauren looked terrified in her photo and made Mom throw it away.

Alice:  Next up! Stingrays! I asked Dad to please dunk me directly into the tank for a closer look. He kindly obliged.

Walter:  I touched one! It felt so white!

Walter:  Later that day, Alice took a nap and Aunt Lauren built a lot of “dry cleans” out of Legos. I ripped most of their heads off. Who needs that many dry cleaners?

Alice:  When I woke up, I was STARVING. I insisted we hit up Yummi Bunn.

Walter:  Yummi Bunn is awesome – they have all sorts of donuts and cinnamon rolls that you toss ice cream inside of – totally fits my palate.

Walter:  All five of us shared two snacks. I chose a cinnamon roll stuffed with vanilla ice cream and sprinkles.

Alice:  Aunt Lauren said salted carmel is life and stuffed that inside of a donut with Oreos.

Walter:  Annihilation time:  3 minutes. 

Alice:  It was basically a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

Alice:  The adults finally let me get some rest and headed out to dinner. They went to a gastropub with a great name, Junk Ditch.

Walter:  The next day I was worried Aunt Lauren didn’t get to eat dinner so when I asked her what she had, I was a little surprised it was a full-on three course meal…. Seems I missed the invite… First up, was this crazy charcuterie plate. I’m told the bread was amazing.

Alice:  Then Mom and Aunt Lauren shared a salad that was mostly bread and cheese and a few roasted apricots. This is totally up my alley. Thanks for the live-changing intro to burrata, Aunt Lauren.

Walter:  Mom and Aunt Lauren also tried this delicious asparagus pizza. They both claim they are going to start shaving their asparagii at home and I can’t wait to throw some shaving cream on that.

Alice:  The crust was SO good. I can’t wait to try it.

Walter:  Dad had this massive plate of venison gnocchi – a nice, light summer dish!

Alice:  They said they could see their breath; it really was cold.

Walter:  Aunt Lauren’s last day was a busy one! I had to bring in my trash and recycling cans, my neighbor’s cans, take a walk, look for the trash man, hit the park, and pick up sticks from the yard.

Alice:  I kicked it and just popped some bubbles. Chill out, bro.

Walter:  Aunt Lauren headed for her plane and left. I can’t wait to show her my two act puppet show on our next visit!

Alice:  Yeah!