The Best Way to Cheat

Your Friday night side chick (or f*@k boy) is now a fake pizza. It’s like your main pizza, but offers you things he can’…multiples…err multiple servings of vegetables and very few carbs. Maybe there could be a serious relationship here after all?

I make this dish A LOT. And every time I make it, I think I should really share it with the world. So, here’s a health(ier) alternative to your local slice of pepperoni. Just don’t tell your main thang.

Zucchini Pizza!

  • 4 medium zucchini
  • 1 tsp of salt
  • Cheesecloth
  • 2/3 c. flour
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup of shredded mozzarella
  1. Preheat oven to 550F.
  2. Line pizza pan with parchment paper.
  3. Shred zucchini in grating function of food processor.
  4. Stir shredded zucchini with salt.
  5. Set shredded zucchini/salt mixture on top of cheesecloth and wrap into a cloth-covered ball. Allow to sit for 15 minutes.
  6. Wring as much of the water out of the zucchini through the cheesecloth and then discard cloth.
  7. Place zucchini back in a bowl and combine with flour, eggs, and mozzarella. (You can also season with garlic and salt/pepper, but I just wait for the toppings).
  8. Spread mixture onto parchment paper covered pizza pan.
  9. Bake for about 15 minutes, until edges have browned and you can lift the bottom with a spatula.
  10. Remove from oven and top with desired toppings. You can use anything, but the best combo is as follows:
    • One head of roasted garlic, spread on top as a base
    • One fresh tomato, sliced
    • 4oz. of prosciutto, torn
    • 1 Carmelized onion
    • Fresh mozzarella
    • Top the whole bit with a handful (or so) of shredded mozzarella
  11. Bake for another 10-12 minutes, until toppings have browned.


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