The Definitive Guide to 2016 Oscar Gowns

Since I love awards shows and fashion, last night was the Super Bowl of gown season, I thought I’d weigh in on who wore what best. Because I do care who you’re wearing and I don’t want to hear you answer another inane question instead of hear about your dress. K? Thanks.

Best Dressed!

First Place:  Alicia Vikander in custom Louis Vuitton.

Fun, fresh silhouette and sweet color. Young and classic with a nod to trends. Missing from photo: other foot.



Second Place:  Margot Robbie in Tom Ford

Can either Margot or Tom Ford do wrong? Nope. I tried not to be too jealous when the Chap vigorously agreed as to her degree of hotness. I’m sure my Old Navy jogger sweat pants and v-neck tee were a close second in his mind.


Third Place:  Olivia Munn in Stella McCartney

Modern and fresh. She just had a baby. I’ll look the same way, right? Bigger earrings would have helped this ensemble. Otherwise, gorgeous.


Image: E! Online

Honorable mentions include my obsession with jewels! Mad Max’s necklace, Rachel’s earrings, and Tina’s choker.

Harry Winston. Insane. Not a fan with the dress – a little trying too hard. I’ll wear this against a tight black sweater any day of the week.



Now, I can’t stand Rachel McAdams, but the simple modern lines of her whole getup was right up my alley. Standing ovation for her Chopard earrings.


Image: Hollywood Reporter

Finally, something more classic, a Bulgari, sapphire collier on Tina Fey. It was a hair too close to matching her purple Versace gown, but it was so beautiful. I was impressed by how easily panned in camera angles could capture its inticracy.



Worst Dressed!

Mindy is a delight, but everything about this is WRONG.



Gorgeous Cate Blanchett found a craft sale at Michael’s. A really good one.



Reese. Clearly, someone punched her in the breasts. Both of them. Hard. They deflated and the fabric swelled up in a fun crinkled bag shape. Oscar de la Renta is rolling in his fashionable grave.






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